Lack of accountability, reliability and responsibility

Don’t avoid responsibility in social situations.

Be reliable

You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat other people’s time.

A kind, thoughtful person shows their respect for others by following through on what they said they would do. This means they meet you for coffee when they said they would, instead of texting you 10 minutes beforehand to say they can’t make it.

Reliability requires people to think beyond their own needs. Being reliable shows that a person is empathetic, as they’re able to consider other people’s perspectives and imagine how they feel.

In contrast, a person who’s unreliable doesn’t take other people’s emotions into consideration. Being unreliable is a sign that someone isn’t as nice as they pretend to be.

Be accountable

Another sign that someone is only pretending to be nice is that they’re quick to blame others, but don’t show any accountability of their own.

Admitting when we’re wrong is rarely a comfortable feeling, yet doing so proves we’re self-reflective and willing to take responsibility for our mistakes.

Accountability goes beyond just saying sorry. To be fully accountable requires people to think critically about how they relate to others. Being accountable means you accept your imperfections, without lashing out or getting defensive.

Someone who’s not nice will always find a reason that their behavior isn’t actually their fault, which reinforces their inability to hold themselves accountable.

Don’t avoid responsibility in social situations

There are plenty of social situations that require someone to take responsibility.

For instance, if an argument breaks out between two groups of friends in a bar, there will be one person who will want to fuel the argument without any regard for the consequences. And there will be another who will take responsibility and try to defuse the situation.

It’s the second type of person who’s highly respected by others.

Most people run away from responsibilities whenever they can. They prefer to sit on the sidelines and watch someone else put in the effort to do the needful. But over time, everyone realizes that such people cannot be relied upon.

On the other hand, people who continuously take responsibility in public emit proof of their reliability in times of crises, and gain a lot of respect as a result.