Fear setting

Why you should define your fears instead of your goals

• Tim Ferris

Lucky coincidences should scare you. The element of chance should scare you. So use different methodical ways to manage your ups and downs. Recipes for avoiding self destruction and self paralysis are at least as important as recipes for success.

We suffer more in imagination than in reality - Seneca, the younger

Here is an exercise from “The letters from Seneca”

Premeditatio memorum - The premeditation of evils - Visualizing the worst case scenarios in detail - the scenarios that you fear - the fear preventing you from taking actions - to overcome that paralysis.

For some, thinking through something is not enough. They have to map out everything on paper.

Fear setting for yourself needs 3 pages.

Page 1: The fear column

What if I … (insert whatever it is that you want to do that is causing you fear, causing anxiety, whether it is related to job, relationships, etc. whatever it may be. all the worst things that you can imagine happening if you take that step).

Did anyone else in the history of time (that are less intelligent, less fortunate) figure this out? Chances are YES.

Page 2: The prevent column

What can you do to prevent each of the scenarios from Page 1 from happening? Or at least, decrease the likelihood?

What might be the benefits of an attempt or a partial success from making this attempt? Might you build confidence? Develop skills? emotionally, financially, physically or in some other area? What might be the benefits?

Page 3: Repair

If the worst case scenarios happen, what can you do to repair the damage? even by a little bit? Who can you ask for help? How had people handled this in the past?

Cost of an action: Humans are very good at considering what might go wrong if we try something new (like asking for a raise). But humans do not often consider the atrocious cost of status quo - not changing anything. So ask yourself: If I avoid this action or decision (or ones like them) what might my life look like in 6 months, 12 months, 3 years? Get detailed.

Closing notes:

Try to do fear setting at least once in a quarter every year.

Fear setting is not a panacea. Some of your fears are probably very well founded. But you shouldn’t conclude that without first putting your fears under a microscope.

It will not make all the hard things and hard choices easy - but it will make them easier.

Easy choices - hard life. Hard choices - easy life. What we most fear doing, asking, saying are very often exactly what we most need to do. The biggest challenges and problems we face will never be solved with comfortable conversations - whether it is in your own head - or with other people.

So ask yourself: Where in your life, right now, might defining your fears be more important than defining your goals?